Have you ever been driving along, seen a pothole or a cyclist or some other road hazard, and focused on it so hard that you then steer towards it?
This used to happen to me all the time – until I very nearly ran over Lavender Cap Lady. On that day I had to have a serious word with myself.
Lavender Cap lady is quite old and she is partial to walking.
She is particularly partial to walking a metre into the road, whilst wearing a lavender cap, an oversized shell suit top and baggy MC Hammer trousers.
Such a combination is quite trying for drivers with distractible tendencies.
The thing is that when you focus in on anything – a pothole, an old lady, a juggernaut careering towards you – subconsciously your wrists will shift to follow your eyes. This means the steering wheel will follow suit and before you know it you are veering towards the very thing that you don’t want to collide with.
In most cases you can pull it back, get past the hazard unscathed and not kill anyone. But there is always that cold and jelly-like leg sensation that has you feeling like you’ve just been caught smoking by the scariest teacher in school.
Then there is the niggling fear of “should I be on the road at all?”. Which is not helped by the fact your passenger has fainted.
At times like this a little word to the self is required.
Word = FOCUS
What we choose to focus on is POWERFUL.
Whether on the road or steering our way through life, we will always navigate towards what we focus on. This can be applied to old ladies walking down the road, or it can be applied to other things. Like donuts.
Focus: I mustn’t eat donuts. Mustn’t eat donuts.
Result: I am seeing donuts everywhere. Friend brings round bag of donuts.
Supermarket oozes sugary donut smell. Oops. Just ate a donut.
(Strangely enough after writing this post I ended up in the supermarket compelled to buy a box of small, jam filled donuts. They weren’t the usual ones, but very small … the size of chocolate truffles. They were quite revolting.)
Focus psychology is used also religiously by the beauty and cosmetic industries.
By spending billions on clever media and advertising campaigns, mass terror of aging, getting fat, not having big enough boobs, not having a pert enough bum, can be generated. Because we are all subjected to this conditioning on a daily basis, we are compelled to focus in on it. We start to focus on how closely we fit the air brushed ideal, where we are on the aging scale (oh my God!!! I have a new grey hair!!!) and over a matter of time our flaw-fear-focus hits such epic fever pitch and we run to the shops rasping, “give me the OLAY! I NEED OOOOOOO-LAAAAAAAY!!!”
Result? The Olay bank account grows sleek and fat and gleeful and we receive greasy faces and a thread of hope that we’ll stop the inevitable, unstoppable processes called Nature.
(Sorry to use you as an example Oil of Olay, but when I was a kid you used to test on animals and therefore are ingrained in my memory as bad and you are were also the ones that I saw coating glossy double paged spreads in Country Living Magazine which just BUGS me when I actually want to be reading about making chutney).
Often when people ask me what Grow Your Own Gorgeousness is about I say “it’s about the effect of the beauty and cosmetic industry on women’s self-esteem”, but actually I am focusing in on the wrong thing.
The true focus of Grow Your Own Gorgeousness is not the big, bad cosmetic industry. It is actually about the reader unleashing their true – sustainable – real – Gorgeousness and letting that expand every area of their life. The focus is to empower women with the tools to EXPERIENCE THEIR BEAUTY from the inside out.
We can always choose what we focus our mind on; Lavender Caps Lady, pot holes, our “flaws” (ie. where we don’t match the ideal beauty mould offered by the people who are also offering nose jobs, boob jobs, lipo etc) or our Gorgeousness. And where we focus our minds, there our attention will be drawn and we will start moving in that very direction.
What are you going to choose to focus on today?
PS. If you would like to buy copies of Grow Your Own Gorgeousness for your sisters, friends, daughters or the other Gorgeous women in your life, then you can get them by clicking right here.
bethanstritton.wordpress.com 
Haha I love it, especially the donut part!
Do you identify with the donut part Alison? Hehe. I am regretting writting anything about donuts because they are now everywhere I go. Today all a brioche donut had to do was look at me and chomp. It was gone. Also I’ve just realised that I am spelling donut the American way. I don’t know why that is. Anyway … thanks for your comment. x
Wow Beth that is soooo true, we can have things if we welcome them to us and accept them into our lives, believe them to be so and live with them. I think I know Lavender cap lady!!!! does she walk the undercliff?
Yes she does. She is quite famous. Hopefully this post may help save her life. x
I want a Lavender cap lady to hit with my car… do they have those in America?
Nooooo Skeleton Fingers! The idea is not to hit Lavender Lady. The idea is to AVOID. A-void.
Lavender Cap Lady reminds me of Upside-down Umbrella Lady who lived in my village when I was younger. She would carry a range of household objects in her upside-down umbrella, perhaps some toilet rolls, the occasional toaster. Her party piece was to walk out into traffic. The traffic would part as if she were Moses crossing the Red Sea.
Some old ladies have unusual super powers, this is true. I like the parting of the traffic idea. I also like the idea of carrying useful household objects in an upside down umbrella. I think that is far more practical than a conventional handbag (unless it rains and you have to hide everything under a bush in order to put the umbrella up the right way). Now that would just look TOO eccentric. Big love to you Emma xxx
i do this.. when I drive.. you always manage to make me chuckle when I read your blogs and its so true! I want to see the Lavender cap lady x
Thank goodness someone else does it too!! I’ve got to admit that when I posted this I was a little concerned that my driving would come across as being blase or that I don’t have regard for Lavender Cap Lady. It’s reassuring to know that others occasionally focus in the wrong direction. Thanks for your lovely commment Miss Dreamy! Much love to you xxx