The swamp started rising on our return from Sicily when I was faced with a broken washing machine. This wasn’t a massive problem at first, as I was able to take our suitcases straight to the Ninja Hotel and wash our clothes there.
But now, several weeks later, the washing pile (and my angst) is beginning to build up. There’s only so much humping around washing (for a family of four) that you can do. And anyway, it’s peak season for Ninja Hotel guests. That laundry room is officially overworked.
Question; why don’t I get the washing machine fixed? Answer; The verdict is that we need a new one and my bank account is feeling tender at the moment.
Which brings me to my next swamped feeling … The printer that I was using to create my Grow Your Own Gorgeousness books was pretty much stone age, so before we left I purchased a brand new, super-duper, all singing/all dancing one.
However, now we’re back and I have begun my next batch of books, my computer – the very one I am writing on now – has stopped working. It’s okay for blogging, but every time I plug it in to the printer, the screen goes blank and the power dies. Argh!
On top of this, I am setting up my training company so that I am once again working – full time, yet while I am ploughing every hour into it, working really hard, it all feels like an uphill battle. All around me more and more chores and jobs building up and I am sitting in the middle of it, looking around like a frightened rabbit. Sob.
Finally, there are two books that need urgent editing before my deadlines and I HAVE ACQUIRED WRITERS BLOCK!
See what I mean?
Last night, after cancelling some large chunks from my diary, I sat and reflected on what is going on. All I could think was “why isn’t anything working?”
“Aha” moment central.
In that moment I realised that my underlying concern for the last few months has been about me “not working.” In my attempt to manifest “work” I have been working very hard, however all I’ve been focusing on was that fact that I’m “not working.” The result of this has been more and more manifestations of me, my life and my stuff “not working”.
This is rather hilarious considering that a month ago I was giving my friend in London tools to get out of the “I’m not working” mindset. (She got the job she asked the Universe for, btw… on the 24th of June which was the exact date she’d specified!)
So, now that my social calender is looking a little spartan for the next few days, I’m going to use that fresh time not to clear any projects, but to clear three disempowering MINDSETS or PERCEPTIONS that I’ve been cultivating.
Then I intend to use the tools that I offered my friend in “Growing Beyond the Recession Mindset.” Hopefully this will shift the swamp I am currently slurping around in, transmuting the water into a nice, sparkly pool of loveliness and abundance once more.