… without Losing Your Nerve.
There are five days to go until this crazy pregnancy journey is due to complete and the next phase to begin. Looking back, the whole journey has been a pendulum swinging through transition. The transition from:
- non-preg, “lah-lah-lah” to “Oh My God, I’m pregnant”
- underground wildness to herbal tea and cosying
- an old life vision to a new life vision
- long winter to daffodil spring
- working a lot to working … less
I think that the hardest transition I’ve had to make has been from the old life vision to the new one. Having a little baba in the midst of Mission la’ Gorgeousness altered the landscape and the terrain I’m prepared to walk.
What’s interesting is that the tools I’ve used to negotiate this transition are pretty similar to the tools anyone can use to negotiate any transition. This could be anything from starting a new business, walking away from a relationship that does not work for you anymore or leaving your job to follow your creative dream. I’ve put together this little blog post as a kind of tool kit for anyone who is about to, or is in the process of experiencing a transition in the great, crazy circus of life.
1. Know your destination
Some transitions we are aware of in advance.
Others are thrust upon us by circumstance.
Either way, when we are tossed onto the trapeze of change we have to know where the firm ground is as soon as possible. Obviously being pregnant gives a certain amount of time to adjust to the change, suss out the landscape, look at how you are going to utilise it and prepare your calendar. Other changes, such as a business or job coming to an end are different.
Transition thrust upon us requires dynamic thinking and digging down into our resources of resilience. In these situations we still need to decide where we are going to land.
Sit down with a large sheet of paper and brain storm (preferably in images) where you would like to/long to/LOVE to be in 6 months time.
2. Jump with confidence
When we have advance knowledge of a trapeze transition we can gather our support. We know the abyss that we are about to swing over Tarzan style. We can gather a little crowd of lovelies to coach us if we suddenly get stuck. We can then quite confidently get onto the swing, take a deep breath and do the jump.
We are prepared.
But what about when the transition is thrust upon us? There is no net to catch us and nothing more than a great gaping ravine to traverse? The key skill in getting from one side to the other is keeping your nerve. Confidence in yourself and your ability to make the leap is vital in holding your mind set and actions in place long enough to do what is required of you.
Remind yourself that YOU are the same person, whether you have the net or not. Stride forward and take three big actions that shove you almost sadistically out of your comfort zone and require you to back them up in person.
3. Remain poised and focused
During transition, focus is everything. You need to mentally immerse yourself in the destination that you have chosen to create and then do everything in your power to swing towards that place. Align everything … your thoughts, your feelings, your self perception, your self image, your confidence with moving towards that place.
If you begin to look back at the place you’ve come from, or across to the other trapeze artists … you will lose momentum. At worst you will begin to compare yourself, lose your nerve and balance. So don’t look – or at least don’t look for long.
Divide a sheet of paper into two halves. At the top capture your destination in one sentence. Now, in the left column below write all of your “ …yes, but …” self-defeating thoughts. On the right capture a huge long list of the reasons why you “can” get to where you need/want to be. Put a big black cross through the “yes, but …”s.
4. Trust in yourself and your ability
It’s pretty unnatural to be swinging across a great big chasm (dressed in nothing but a sparkly leotard), but some people and tribes do not have any inbuilt fear of doing this shiz.
Perhaps you are one of them and you just never realised it before?
Once you are on your trapeze … all alone … doing what is required to get from A to B … the feeling can become exhilarating. The angle you are looking from now is like none other than you have ever witnessed before.
Take a deep breath. Congratulate yourself. This is YOU, creating your life, being the artist of the future with nothing more that the skills of holding your mind, emotions, focus and balance all glued together with a fluid confidence and self trust. Be present to it. Enjoy who this is helping you to become. You are brilliant!!
5. Land safely and re-access
In the process of transitioning we grow.
We can become spiritually massive.
The person we were when we began this shift is not the person we are now. For that reason, by the time we have landed on the other side of Whatever, our ideas about life, the world, who we are and what we want may have altered.
This is fine.
It simply means that we should sit down, take a deep breath, possibly drink some pink lemonade and get out our vision again. Is this where we expected to be? Is the landscape here what we imagined we wanted? Have the goals and targets we set for ourself manifested as we hoped for? If not, why not?
If you are happy with the New Place, brilliant. Enjoy. However, if you are anything like me and you have a taste for flying, the chances are you’ll be looking for another flight of fancy or an even more sparkly leotard to put on.
If that is the case, then scroll back to the beginning of this post and you can begin all over again.
Have a beautiful day. xxx