Regularly hang out with the butterflies

Life Design Action: Regularly hang out with the butterflies

Requires: An ability to cope with uncertainty

Does not require: a Buddleia bush

Hanging around inside your comfort zone is comfortable. It’s where all of your usual habits, beliefs and self identity lie. There are hammocks in your comfort zone. And beds. And cushions. There might even be a ches lounge with a large box of Celebrations and remote control next to it.

Comfort Zones are nice. They are comfy. They want to hug you.

But your comfort zones is also a gilded cage.

After a while it will become squeezy.

A bit … samey.

When this happens you can either wiggle our toes, stretch and flick the channel and ignore the cramping in your confidence.

Or you can consider how you are going grow yourself, your life, your goals in some way. And this is where the uncomfortableness begins.

You see, in order to experience growth in any life area, you have to move OUTSIDE your comfort zone. This might mean doing things that initially feels out-of-the-comfiness (going on your first jog, beginning to say “no” to people a little more, asking for things you want).  Or it may mean doing something that involves uncertainty such as changing your job, starting a new business or  taking an audition. This uncomfortable sense of uncertainty is almost always fluttering about when you are taking a new step forward.

When I was younger I found uncertainty unbearable. I hated that feeling of anxiety – the butterflies in the pit of my stomach. Now, several years, countless workshops (and bitten down thumb nails later), I recognise that the butterflies are simply the gate keepers of my comfort zone. I have no real thought about them other than knowing that I’m about to evolve my life in some courageous and gorgeous way. I guess you could say I’ve developed a high butterfly threshold.

I’m very happy about this as by becoming butterfly tolerant, I’ve been able to push my comfort zone further, taking bigger actions and creating bigger results. In fact, I can confidently say that I would be able to speak to an audience of 100-200+ and it wouldn’t be out of my comfort zone.

That is pretty rad considering that five years ago I had trouble stringing a sentence together at times.

The House of Bethan

For many of my 1-1 clients, however, the thought of leaving their comfort zone is petrifying.

The majority of adults actively avoid situations that bring the butterfly warning. People think they are giving themselves a peaceful life by refusing to ever navigate into situations that are going to bring a bit of anxiety or nail-biting restlessness. The truth is though, by avoiding the fear butterflies, we are avoiding the boundaries of our comfort zone and if we refuse to ever push those boundaries outwards, the lines draw in and get smaller. Our confidence is diminished. We shrink.

If you are looking to expand your life, health, work or the dynamic of your relationships you will to go and hang out with the butterflies.

You need to be so OKAY with them that they can brush past your lips.

Land on your shoulder.

Balance on your ear lobe.

The House of Bethan

And when you know that you can do THAT, then the world becomes full of opportunity.

When was the last time you SERIOUSLY stepped out of your comfort zone. Stories are welcome!! xx

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7 thoughts on “Regularly hang out with the butterflies

  1. I don’t know; maybe when I started blogging which was a year ago so perhaps I am getting too comfortable. Time to find some butterflies? I am impressed you are comfortable talking to such a large group of people.

    • Hi Gallivanta – to be fair I haven’t actually spoken to that many people, but I am comfortable with the idea of it. Did you only start blogging a year ago?? I thought you had been doing it for longer somehow … I hope you are fabulous and well. Where are you going to go in search of some new butterflies do you think? xx

      • Well I was thinking of tackling an argument I have with pension department but I am not sure it’s worth the aggravation. It would require going before a judicial tribunal; the idea of which scares me but then that is the whole idea of the tribunal, in my opinion; to deter ordinary folk from seeking redress.

      • Hi Gallivanta, that’s a tricky one isn’t it? I bet part of you just wants peace but the justice-seeker is urging you to fight this. If you could project yourself into the future where everything had turned out just as you wanted it, what would that look like/feel like/sound like? xxx

  2. Seriously difficult subject! Mother nature gave us a ‘comfort zone’ to give us a metaphorical safe-space to relax and enjoy life, where natives are not hurling spears and horrid multi-legged insects don’t bite you in sensitive places. But comfort zones are not good when used as a gaol, trap or day-long couch. For several years I’ve followed a YouTube comic, Charlie McDonald, from his early days with barely post-pubescent acne to a respectable married man in a very nice hice, pretending to be a kid to keep his ‘show’ going. Charlie posted this today…. http://youtu.be/fYA8cSQB_rA

    • HELLO Pass The Sick Bag Alice!!! So good to hear your typed voice. I hope you are well and thanks for your insightful comment. I totally agree that comfort zones have definite purposes to serve and whilst life is good, then why disturb them? But like you say, when we have ideas of things we want to change and achieve, its about moving out of the zone where our habitual attitudes, actions and excuses are swimming around and going up a gear. I will check out the You Tube link. Once again – good to hear from you. xx

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