A Dare.

The House of Bethan Dar

Written in the Spar shop car park post Pranayama session. So absorbed in the Dare that I forgot to buy the cat food.


13 thoughts on “A Dare.

    • I agree that some of them are hard, but not all. For me the hardest would be daring to stop always trying to protect my children. When I say this, I don’t mean from dangerous things, but from the challenges and strains of life. My kids have been through so much since me and their dad split up and it continues to weigh heavily on their shoulders. It has been a constant, nagging anxiety in the pit of my stomach for the last two years. After all, it is a basic instinct to want to protect our “babies” from pain and I feel disempowered in my ability to protect them.

      Yesterday it suddenly came to me that my babies are not babies. They are two magnificent souls in young human bodies who are strong, intelligent, creative and capable and that I need to begin seeing them like that and empowering them to see themselves like that by trusting in their strength and reminding them of their strength.

      When my dad died and my mum said to me one night, “It’s not you I worry about Bethan. You are resilient. It’s your brother I’m concerned about.” At the time I thought to myself, “what do you mean?? I’m not resilient and I’ve lost my dad and he was my best friend and I’m five months pregnant and I’m massively grieving and, and …”

      I was angry at the time that I was expected to be the “resilient” one, yet now, I think Thank GOD because as a result of my mother’s expectation, I BECAME resilient. My brother, on the other hand, was expected to be weak and “not cope” and sure enough he learned to see himself as the weak one. He was two years older than I was, but protected as if he were a little baby.

      I’ve come to think now that by holding our children as little people who need to be protected in a big, bad world, we are acting, guiding and nurturing from an angle that keeps them small.

      I want my children to be resilient, strong, self-reliant, loving, loved human beings. That is what the final dare was about; to approach parenting from a different angle. To let go of trying to protect them and instead focus on empowering them to become the amazing people that they were born to be. Actually, said like that, it no longer even sounds so tough.

      Which ones sounded hard to you? xx

      • Probably ‘not protecting’ the children would be up there. I am getting better though! After several decades! And daring to stop trying to be strong all the time. I am like the Little Red Hen “Well I’ll do it myself and so she did….” Sometimes I think if I let go of the strong I will fall and never get up again 😦

      • It is funny you say that Gallivanta. The whole of this Dare post was inspired by something the girl opposite me at Pranayama said.
        She said, “I can’t not be strong.”
        And the Yoga teacher said, “What would happen if you let go of being strong?”
        And the girl said, “I don’t know.”
        At the end of the session, when we were feeding back, the girl said, “I’ve realised what would happen if let go of being strong. I would realise that I AM strong. And everything around me might fall to pieces but if that was what was going to happen, it would happen anyway.”
        The Yoga teacher nodded and smiled and then we had a conversation about daring to let go.

      • I am glad I have company in my worries πŸ™‚ . Come to think of it when I have done a Humpty Dumpty and fallen off the wall, friends and family have rallied round and put me back together again. I crumpled, yet all was well. There are ‘angels’ around us but we just don’t realise it. By the way, in my latest post, if you scroll through the comments you will see I made a remark about a dare πŸ™‚

  1. Nice to know you are into Pranayama. A teacher asks β€œWhat would happen if you let go of being strong?” seems to have yogic wisdom.

    Please do share your experience on Pranayama practice.

    Cheers πŸ™‚

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