Take Control Of Your Groove

Life Design Action: Take Control Of Your Groove

Requires: A brown paper envelope and stealth

Does not require: Gloating or certificates of achievement

(When we are feeling uber-flumped because we are desperately trying to create a new groove – if you don’t know what I’m talking about please see previous post by clicking here – we are basically affirming to ourselves this fact:

I Am Not In The Groove and I Am Not Happy.

And the more we say that to ourselves, the more we deepen the flump. Result? Total lack of motivation, sighing sensation around heart area and another deepening of the anti-Groove.

Not a very nice place to be.

However, one tiny action we can take to move out of the anti-Groove grip is to glance the other way and hum. I know this sounds strange, but it works in the same way that stopping a small child from having a hissy-fit works. Rather than paying it attention and empowering the child with silent pleas of “stoppppppp!” we simply look the other way, hum and start doodling on an old paper envelope. As many of you who have had hissy-fitty children will know, the child then can not resist creeping over, sniffing a bit, then peering in to see what you are drawing.

And Grooves are a lot like children. Rather than feeding them our desperation, we need to withdraw attention, reassure them that we aren’t going anywhere, then draw their attention to where we want to be going. We can do this by acknowledging to ourselves the GOOD things that we are already doing.)


Bethan’s Chi-Groove Epiphany

Sitting on floor lying on bed, drinking Green Tea whilst in lotus position in star-shape, gazing into distance gawping at ceiling in overwhelming realisation that …


I have been in a massive chi-building Groove and haven’t even noticed it!

I mean, I HAVE noticed it, but I haven’t really allowed myself to acknowledge that I’ve been in it. Which is bizarre. What is wrong with me? It is as though, because my Chi-Building Groove has been also been punctuated with Doritos and Bueno Kinders and other bits and bobs that we shall not mention because it would be dreadfully boring for you (did you know that 5 packs of chocolate Crispy Rolls were on offer in Co-op recently?) I have failed to recognise where the Chi-Building is desperately trying to break through.

Let me give you Examples.

So, for the last two Thursdays, myself and the Golden Curly have been attending a two hour meditation and Pranayama class.

The House of Bethan

 Prana is the Indian term for gorgeousifying life-energy. This is a subtle, invisible force that is around and within the human body. Different cultures have different names for this energy, but essentially it is the same thing. It would take a v v v long time and lots of typing for me to really explain this energy that I’m seeking to build, so I will put it simply.

Prana/Chi/Ki/Mana are all names for a form of Spiritual Evian; spring water for the soul (except this Evian isn’t liquid). We all have it in us to different degrees. If we work on our Evian through different practises, our Evian goes from being a bit old and stagnant to being v clean and sparkly. This results in more personal energy, empowerment and vibrancy. Mix this this with the cordial of your Gorgeousness and wah-lah, your personal energy, clarity and creativity is amplified.

The House of Bethan

So, the Pranayama class is about using conscious focus to build and cultivate the Evian and dilute it with your you-ness. Miraculously, during sessions, myself and Golden Curley haven’t laughed once.


Instead it appears that Pranayama turns us into deeply grounded, self contained Yogic Types. And somehow, without any real effort, I have now made Thursday mornings a sacred space of creating Inner Space. (One tick off for What Every Woman Needs).

Okay … what else?

Well, I have been to see a Chinese Herbalist called Lawrence who was v v v nice. I also dragged Ads there too, which was quite funny, but another story altogether. The Chinese Herbalist diagnosed me as having stagnating chi in my liver. He then gave  me a small plastic bag full of brown powder to make tea from. It was called

The House Of Bethan

     How could anyone resist a tea called Happy Wanderer even if it did taste like Bisto gravy or mushroom flavoured Bovril?

I’ve been giving it out to everyone.

(Which I’m sure is allowed.)

Last Friday I also went and had some Acupuncture with Lawrence. By this point my Liver Chi Blockage appeared to have dissolved, so the acupuncture was for balancing vital organs and building energy. T’was amazing.

So, do you see? The Chi-Building Groove was there all the time trying to break through and catch my attention, but because it was so subtle I wasn’t really acknowledging it. On the other hand, the Doritos-and-Kinder-Bueno-Groove was so loud and sugary that it was hyper-actively in my face, dragging my mind here and there and everywhere and demanding attention.

It turns out that Grooves really are like children.

It turns out that we need to parent them with love, fairness and wise consideration; give positive attention to the good Grooves; hum and doodle at the Grooves; then breathe deeply …

…and …



15 thoughts on “Take Control Of Your Groove

  1. I woke up earlier than I needed so I thought to myself hmm, I could go downstairs and have some me time before everyone else wakes up. Maybe a bit of pranayama and meditation to set me up for a blissful day! Anyway, reading your blog posts was in fact as far as I got and I hasten to add, just as valuable! I am def in the feeling the good groove way at the moment and hoping to keep it that way! After kick starting myself with a 2 week detox I went to Turkey on a weeks yoga retreat and it has reignited something inside me that used to be really prevalent (before I started my family and all my energy was diverted -on and off- mostly off) away from myself. Loads of love, Han.

    Sent from my iPhone

    • Good morning darling Han!! So glad that you enjoyed reading the post and I’m massively happy and excited for you about your groove. That trip to Turkey looked heavenly and I can just imagine the beautiful blossoming that happened within the space. I feel that those Thursday mornings of Pranayama are like little mini-retreats. They seem to be just the thing for some anchoring of energy and going within, as opposed to that chaotic demanding multi-sensory that is grinning happily at me when I open my eyes. I am thinking of doing the Turkey retreat at the end of Aug if I can secure the time off. So great to hear from you my darling – and if you’d like to join this “Groove Thing” I’m about to start on Tuesday, feel free to get involved. Having said that, it sounds like you are already there.
      Massive love to you xxx

  2. hmmm mushroom bovril sounds heavenly, a treat for my taste buds much like the nettle stir fry i tried today, a definate taste sensation. groove is in the heart doo bee doo bee dooba dee doo. lovely late night reading x

  3. Right- it is the humming! Always forgot to do that, but now the problem should be solved… 😉
    Decided to embark on my own Groove-athon. Will begin next Tuesday as well and let you know about the program soon. Have a few topics outlined so far, but need to fill in the actions…
    Maybe this could be the beginning of a great new online project (was thinking about that for a while now as a new way for your coachings – to reach those poor souls living too far away, like me). What do you think? Love you, always!

    • Humming/ om-ing … all good stuff. So glad you are embarking with us on the Groove-athon Janin! Can’t wait to hear your programme and love the idea of long-distance coachings. I’ve got to say though, I am so busy at the moment. I’ve been in London for the last two weeks running Goal Mapping workshops with a group of support workers and youth at a charity for young homeless people. In between that the Isle of Wight programmes are going mental (positively mental) and I keep getting nudged by the Universe to write a particular coaching programme that would lend itself to being an online training for families. If you come up with any thoughts about turning this into a project however, I am open to thoughts …. Love you. xxx

      • I know how busy you are (thumbs up to all that stuff!) and that’s why i kept quiet about any suggestions for online coachings so far. What makes your coaching special is the personal contact, so a successful online course would need a lot of support and feedback via email – which would be rather time consuming, I suspect (and then you would never find the time for emailing me in private again!!!). Still there might be ways of setting up a system to do that and I will have to think about it. Guess you need to start planning a “business trip” to Munich soon. 😉
        Will be in contact shortly with detail of the Groove-athon. It is something that really got me thinking – which is a first in a long while. I can feel some motivation flowing back to me and I can’t tell you how happy I am for that!

      • Business trip to Munich … er, yeaaaaahh!! Or maybe a holiday for Janin and Baby to the Isle of Wight as we have one Nanny Gem (and of course Fairy God Mother Bethan) here who would be very happy to squidge and swirl around a Baby whilst Janin researched setting up online coaching courses. Hehe. Seriously though, if you wanted to have a look at how to set something like that up, I would be interested.
        What about your Groove-athon antics? I am intrigued to know what you are planning. Not long until Tuesday … xxx

  4. Hi. And I’ve started going to yoga on a Wednesday night!! I haven’t quite got into it yet (only been twice and had never done it before) but I’m enjoying it 🙂 Cheers, C xxx

    • Hurrah!!! Well done C. This week the Chi-Building Groove-athon starts and the activity for the body is Yoga. As I was lying in bed this morning feeling v stiff, I thought, “this is going to be a bit uncomfortable”. Once your body starts to feel the effects of the movements and your mind decides to zip its mouth, it becomes the most beautiful oasis of calm in a v crazy world. Keep us informed of you get on xx

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