My mobile rang. Naughty N.
“Hello, it’s me! Where are you?”
“I’m in the fancy dress shop looking up lady boys on the computer with The Man.”
The Man is Rob.
Rob owns the fancy dress shop.
“Oh right. Brilliant. I’ll be there in a sec.”
A sec later someone starts attacking the door.
“Just push it gently!” shouts Rob.
“She won’t push it gently,” I tell Rob and hurry over to open the door before it is kicked to pieces.
Naughty N explodes in. She is chomping a chocolate Bueno Kinder Hippo.
“Ooh – is that chocolate?” I ask, my eyes nearly popping out of my head. I haven’t eaten chocolate since we began Insanity. Somehow chocolate that Ads doesn’t know about doesn’t seem to count as Real Chocolate. However, I shouldn’t eat any. But I want to. But anyway, it belongs to Naughty N and I’ll only be cheating myself … Noticing my internal dilemma, NN stuffs the bottom end of the hippo into my mouth before I can protest and it is so small that it dissolves on my tongue before I can spit it out in disgust.
N then claps her hands, rubs them gleefully and declares, “Right, we need wigs!”
“It’s under control. Rob knows everything.”
Before Naughty N got here I explained to Rob (who owns the fancy dress shop) that for my birthday (which I happen to share with Rob) we were having a civilised Thai buffet/curry evening. I then made the mistake of saying to Lovely Sarah (who I must ask to bring her accordion) what she thought we could all dress up as (to make it more Thai style).
This was an innocent question.
And this was the innocent reply: “He-Shes of course.”
Of course! Duh.
Why hadn’t I thought of that before?
So, then a civilised birthday party with banana leaf plates turned into a Ladyboy party and here we found ourselves, spending our hard earned money on glamorous fake eyelashes and wigs. We whisked and whirlwinded around the shop whilst Rob sipped his asparagus cuppa soup and did everything he could to provide us with what we needed.
Finally, as we were whisking out, I noticed on his counter a pile of sumptuous and very classy Style of Wight magazines.
“You’re in that,” Rob alerted me helpfully.
“Ooh, ooh, I haven’t seen it yet!”
V excited, I grabbed a good handful of magazines and hurried back to the car to have a look.
All in all, Friday was very productive trip to the fancy dress shop.