Twice in the last 24 hours has Naughty N been shockingly exposed to how grumpy and teeth gnashingly over-tired I am.
Incident 1 – 7.12pm YESTERDAY.
I was sitting at kitchen table, palms holding putty cheeks and rubbing them in round circular motions whilst being tortured by Roo who was asking these incessant, unnessesary questions like; “did you know that horses can sleep standing up?” and “are bugs creatures? Because spiders aren’t bugs but they are creatures.”
Just as cheeks and thoughts were paused in a particularly teeth exposing grimace, there was a wild and very ENTHUSIASTIC rapping on the window. It was Naughty N.
“Ooh,” she said when she got in. “You look happy. I’ve come for tea. But no wine. Don’t give me any wine.”
“Ugh?” I said.
Incident 2 – 7.00am TODAY.
This morning I “woke up” if you can wake up after not being able to go to sleep because someone is SNORING and you are having to jab them in the thigh to make them STOP; then finally you fall “asleep” into this weird tossy-turny fragmented dream world where everything feels disjointed and blah; you are “awoken” by a small child at the door saying he has a cold and can’t breathe, so you stagger around in circles, fully naked and freezing, looking for some Obus oil that isn’t there and eventually shove some tissue at the child and mumble “just blow it” but twenty minutes later the child is there again and in a fit of surrender and desperation you let them into your bed, get sandwiched between two people snoring, eventually doze off only to be woken by the CAT being wild and murdering a mouse in your daughter’s bedroom doorway and her having a hissy fit and kicking out the cat and then ….. breathe, breathe, in, out … and then just as you are slipping down, deep down into beautiful slumber … the alarm goes off.
Proceeded to walk around like bear with sore head until I drank some Yorkshire tea, still mildly grumpy took Roo to school, came back and did the five mile stare. Just as eyes felt like they were going to dry out, door exploded open and there was Naughty N, ready to RUN and full of enthusiasm.
I wasn’t raring to run. In fact I could quite easily have snatched up the word raring, tied it into a scrabbly knot and fed it to the bloody evil cat. But Naughty N’s enthusiasm was quite viral. Almost as viral as my mother’s enthusiasm over her new hens.
So I surrendered again.
(I am getting good at this surrendering business.)
We gathered ourselves, decided a route and trotted off on a lovely autumn run. And now I feel much, much better. Although I am shamelessly sitting back in bed with my dressing gown on and no intention to move. Ha. Although I might put the telly on (by some miraculous coincidence after I posted about NOT having a TV since March, some bastards have sorted out the wires so I now have got telly and have been forced on more than one occasion to watch mindless drivel.)
Now, before I go and watch some mindless drivel, I just say two things about TV:
Thing One: Last night whilst wedged in some overheating, body sandwich it occurred to me that Lauren from Eastenders looks a lot like Christina Alessi who used to be on Neighbours when I was little. I remember her clearly because she said “ciao” a lot and was married to Paul Robinson. My question: Is Lauren her long lost daughter?
Yes? No? Yes? No?
Thing Two: Naughty N’s brother in law is a script writer for telly and has started working for Holby City. This has excided Naughty N a lot and she has ALMOST pursuaded him to write her into the script so that her charecter can have a raunchy love affair with some doctor (not sure which doctor as I don’t agree with hospital programmes and feel that people who love them need to sort it out really.)
But anyway … (I will find out which doctor it is so we can keep an eye out) on top of this, Naughty N’s husband now ALSO wants to be written into the script to have an affair with one of the nurses. Hmm. This all sounds like affairs by proxy to me. Worrying. When script is confirmed I will let you know what he’s going to write.
May also see if I can get self in script somehow as this would be v funny.
Infact, I think we shuld ALL get into the Holby City script!!
Okay – if you WANT to be in Holby City, let me know what storyline you would like and I’ll see what I can do. I’m sure as Brother-In-Law of the highly-enthusiastic Naughty N, our script writer will be nothing but obliging! Yay.