Have You Ever Been Smacked With A Zorb Ball?

It was only last night as I scrambled over the giant harbour rocks (whilst still dressed in my work clothes and heels) to get to where Ads was fishing, slipped down one, steadied myself on Gianpaolo’s back (he was hunched over trying to hook some bait and grunted irritably), threw out one hand to balance and then realized I was fingering mackerel guts, that I thought to myself, “I really could do with a day off.”

This isn’t really anything to do with fishing, but I’ve been existing in a Bouncy Castle.

At least that’s how it feels.

In this Bouncy castle you are required to keep jumping, whilst a massive Bouncy Hopper twice the size of a Zorb ball twats hits you.

Not only is the Zorb Ball dominating the space and rudely invading your personal space … it is also swelling up with each hour, until eventually your entire face is squelched up against the Bouncy Castle walls.

Not very dignified really.

Luckily Bouncy Castles are soft.

Small blessings and all.

So here’s my theory: the Bouncy Hopper Sized Zorb Ball of Mentalness is down to the Moon.

  • As the moon has grown, so has the intensity of many relationships, situations and work pressures. For me. You?
  • The moon is not content with dragging the tides around like an old duvet. The moon also likes to drag our lives up and down, in and out, then batter them on the beach until they’re all limp and sobbing.
  • Contrary to popular belief, the moon does not use its gravitational pull to do this work on Planet Earth. It has evolved. The moon NOW sends down Celestial E Numbers in its beams. These Celestial E Numbers then get into the blood stream of our daily activities, triggering an increasing  hyper frenzy whilst us – the liver of the life – bounces up and down, frazzled out and wondering what the heck is going on.

Thankfully this does not go on forever. Eventually the moon has to peak and then begin backing off. Last night the moon peaked and already – today – I have felt the Bouncy Hopper Zorb Ball lose a little of its air. You?

If the answer is “yes”, “no”, or “not sure yet” or if you just feel a little bit dazed in general, here are my general Post Bouncy Hopper Zorb Ball Recovery strategies. They might help you.

  1. Take pretty much every day of the week off. This helps if you only have to work for a day and a half this week. If you do have to work, pull a sickie.
  2. Plan to do  nothing even vaguely energetic (unless you stupidly booked yourself to do the Grim Challenge, have barely run in the last fortnight and are having I’m-off-the-wagon anxiety. In this case RUN as anxiety NOT good).
  3. Run lots of baths, get distracted, wander off, discover your bath is now cold but don’t beat self up about it. This week is all about the nurture and rejuvenation.
  4. Eat Danishes; drink Yorkshire tea; drink WATER; gaze out the window lots; think about going blackberry picking but DON’T go; think about Christmas but DON’T make a list; think about Halloween but DON’T start designing patterns for your pumpkin. This is VERY important.Just Be Still. Do nothing. You can do everything again when the moon starts to wax. For now- just this week at least – it is all about the waning. Wane time. Nice. Mmmmm.

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