I’ve Brought You Back ….

… some Lovely Men Of London Town

(Vote on your favourite and he’ll win a prize!)

Lovely Man 1 – TAXI DRIVER. Completely copped out of using the Underground on first day of course. Instead sailed into Tower Bridge with Fos, hailed a taxi and proceeded to over-make chattery conversation with driver to compensate for nerves.

Why was he lovely? He reassured me that the Undergound isn’t scary at all. Asked me lots about the IOW. Turned out to be an Arsenal fan. NB. I don’t do football but when in precarious, alone-in-big-city situs turns out anything mildly familiar puts me in state of relaxation. Luckily Ads = BIG Arsenal fan so knew all the stuff to talk about ie. last night’s win, Van Persie leaving and Terry Henry … erm … Thierry Henry. Must have made good impact because driver drops me (illegally) outside exact building on Euston Rd and only charges half the fare. Lovely.

Lovely Man 2 – COURSE LEADER. Lilty Irish accent and fantastic sense of humour (for a psychiatrist). Creator of amazing Rewind technique that will help my clients to change negative experiences that have become encoded in the amygdala part of the brain and recode them, releasing trauma, phobias and low self esteem.

Why was he lovely? I explain I have Underground phobia. Joe asks if I have had a bad experience on the Underground. I explain I have never had the chance to. Explain that it is not about being in a confined space, but being lost and overwhelmed and not knowing where I am. Do an exercise to access underlying memory and discover it goes back to two experiences I had a little girl when I was lost. Rewind it and wah-lah … Joyousness is then dampened when I realise I am now going to have to go to Underground to test it. Bugger. I mean, lovely.

Lovely Man 3 – BOBBY Waiter at Blackheath restaurant that Fos and I frequent.

Why was he lovely? It was his second day and he was very nervous but charming. Offered us copious amounts of Olive bread which he was forced to serve with a spoon and fork (v apologetic when one piece flew out of basket and went under my chair). Later he confided in us that despite only being on his second day, he was already finding the split-shifts were exceedingly upsetting as he was missing Coronation Street. That afternoon he’d gone home, put on his PJs and then lounged with his boyfriend before coming back into work. Such intricate details made us like him even more. We tipped him nicely. Lovely Bobby.

Lovely Man 4 – THE COAT GUARD At the end of my course (day 2) the gorgeous Ads came to meet me. Was feeling exceedingly confident and un-phobic about Underground all of a sudden. Led him down and took us all the way to Leicester Square. Phobia gone!! Went to Covent Garden and was just smoodling along when suddenly, I stopped dead. I stared at the man. He stared at me. He was guarding the door. I wanted to go through the door, for the door he was guarding was none other than … Burberry Brit.

I know!

Why was he lovely? Well, he wasn’t. He was one of those arrogant bastards that glances you up and down, does a robotic pattern-recognition of your wealth measure, raises an eyebrow and proceeds to watch you intently everywhere you walk. Having said this I am equally good at being an arrogant bitch who glances security men up and down, raises an eyebrow and sails through the door. Having said that as well, once inside, excitement got the better of me and I sabotaged my cool by GALLOPING across to my beloved Shearling Aviator Jacket.

There She was.

Stood for some time …

Just …


Leaned in and checked price label. Yep. Still £1300. Mmm. Stood a bit longer, then browsed around with disinterested poise before leaving shop. As long as arrogant coat guard continues to guard my jacket until such time as I can afford to return and purchase, he may remain in my Lovely Books.

So there were the four lovely men I brought you back from London. Which do you think was nicest? You can put the answers in the comments box below … Whichever man gets the most votes I will give a prize to on my next trip up (probably in about 3 weeks). I think we’ll have to exclude the taxi driver though. I think he might be a little bit hard to find.


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