Chilling In The Port Of Origin

When I was 17 I wrote a story called The Centre of the World. I know … hardly a knock out title, but hey, I was young. The story was set in a future, where Planet Earth is completely mullered.

Natural resources are milked dry, nuclear fall out is poisoning the water and humanity are desperately trying to find somewhere – anywhere – to flee.

Thankfully in this future, technology has evolved radically. As a last ditch attempt to save the floundering human race, a teleporting devise not dissimilar to Dr Who’s Tardis, is being sent out into space to try and find a habitable environment for humanity.

A cheery story.
(Emo didn’t exist then, but I’d probably have been one.)

So anyway, as the story starts there is only one place left to go. The Centre of the World.

The main character, Adam, and his colleague Evie aren’t sure what to expect as they prepare for this mission. The general consensus is that on landing, the Tardis will dissolve like candy floss in the molten heat.

Yet when they arrive there is no fire or belching lava. In fact it is surprisingly cool. The team find themselves floating in a HUGE illuminated chamber that is filled with strange, pale blue and green vapor. Following a few stilted conversations between the characters (I keep telling you I was only 17), they decide to get out of the Tardis and when they do, discover they can float around in the strange energy.

One of the crew freaks out and insists they go back. He tries to get the Tardis Thing to teleport back to the surface of the earth but it has completely stopped working.

Meanwhile Adam and Evie manage to move through the chamber and reach the side. They discover that the inner wall of this huge dome, is made from a strange substance covered in hexagonal windows. All of the hexagons tessellate, slotting together to create the surface.

Stranger still, as they move towards and into one of these hexagrams, they enter the mind of a living person. They can hear the thoughts; they can see their life flashing by on the screen of their vision. Gradually it dawns on them that each hexagram is the mind of a single human being on Planet Earth. They realise that the vaporous stuff they are floating in is pure consciousness … the very stuff that inhabits our soul and makes us alive.

At this point the crew realise that Planet Earth doesn’t even exist. It is simply a holographic illusion witnessed through these hexagrams by One consciousness. The crew really had come to the centre of their world and it was the thing that lived behind their very own minds.

I’m not going to tell you the end of the story.

If you wants to know what happens you’ll have to let me know and I’ll post the story up here for you to read.

The reason I’ve shared it with you here is because I want to make the point that we, each one of us, is the spinning centre of our own world, our own experience. It’s impossible for us to get outside of our self. Whatever our life experience, whether good bad, beautiful or ugly, it always happens here inside us and to shift it we need to connect with who we are right now.

Ask yourself questions such as, what is going on for me at the moment? How do I feel? Do I like this feeling? What sort of mood am I in? Am I happy? What would I rather be feeling?

Often when we are having a less than pleasant experience of life we will try to fight it, we’ll bitch about it, we’ll try to escape and pull away. Yet by resisting what is, we are simply solidifying it even more.

The best way to loosen and break down an experience that doesn’t feel nice is literally to feel it.

After my dad’s death and my brother murder, my experience of life didn’t feel very nice. The feelings that racked me were beyond words. The only way to get through the experience was to face it square on and let whatever was going to come, come through me. I also listened to music, became a bit destructive, went numb, came back from the numbness, and then felt the feelings some more.

Trauma and grief is a process.

It is also just another experience in this crazy, fluid, transitory, picture slide of experiences called life.

By being fully present to what is going on in your experience RIGHT NOW, whether “good” or “bad”, you can allow the process to pass. You can digest it and take out the goodness and the learnings. You allow the little vessel (aka. You) move through stormy seas relatively undamaged.

So where am I right now? What port is my boat currently bobbing around in? What’s my current Experience?

Well, in regards to Grow Your Own Gorgeousness, I’m chilling out in a little Port of Procrastination. It’s a nice comfy little place where I can rest peacefully knowing the journey hasn’t yet started. I’m just kind of mooching about, picking up a few supplies and planning the journey ahead. I should be writing my marketing and business plan, but hey, I have loads of time …

Actually that’s a lie. I know I can’t stay here for too long. I have a mission to sail to a different Experience and pretty soon I am going to have to get into my boat and start the process.

The Experience I am aiming for looks like this;

“I, Bethan Stritton, am experiencing my ickle book being available all across the country, not in bookshops but in quirky boutiques, main stream high street shops and also some well frequented websites. I also want interviews in newspapers, articles and reviews and most importantly I want to have thousands of women telling me that they have finally begun to experience their own true gorgeousness thanks to GYOG.”

I am determined to reach this Experience … but at the same time I fully accept that this is where I am right now.

And do you know what? In that acceptance I have now become ready to write the marketing plan. In fact, that is why my computer is on this table and why I pressed the power button. Okay, so I may have had little diversion in writing this post, but my next experience is going to be this;

“I, Bethan Stritton, do write epically amazing business plan and I finish it within 2 hours flat and then email it to the relevant geezer. And it is good.”

Ok. I am now ready to write, but before I go, just remember that whatever your current experience is … allow yourself to be in it. Don’t fight it, just accept it and from that place write a little list of the next step – the next little port – you want to sail into. And if your boat passes mine, make sure you give me a wave. xxx

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