You are fifteen years old.
Your mum told you Under No Uncertain Terms to be BACK by MIDNIGHT. And you were all “Yes, YES! Alright Mother!!”
And the intention was there.
But the party was good.
And the music?
Let’s just say you danced your flipping heart out.
Then, before you knew what was happening, it was throwing out time. Shock … what? …. horror. As you stagger (NB. I did say you danced hard – nothing to do with alcho pops) outside, blinking blearily into the dawn smudged sky, you hear the one thing that you just don’t want to hear.
NOOOOOO! Go back to bed birds! What are you doing being awake at this ungodly hour?
But who has got it wrong? Is it the birds or is it you?
Next thing you know, you are back at your house and you know that there is going to be hell to pay the moment you walk in. All the lights are still on – not a good sign. With jittery hands and a gulping throat, you take out the key. Insert into lock. Turn the key as quietly and respectfully for the potentially sleeping parents as possible, and ….
WHY HELLO EVERYONE!
1. I am back.
2. I am not fifteen and nor are you (if you are then you must ALWAYS listen to your parents and do not copy anything that you might have just read because it’s bad and naughty and wrong).
3. It’s strangely difficult trying to tiptoe back into a blog after you have slacked off for practically a whole month.
I have no excuses. I don’t. Not one.
Because what with …. workshops, meetings, calls, developments, parties, jobs, hiccups, tantrums … being a really responsible thirty year old, I try not to blame anyone or anything for my complete lack of showing up to my own blog.
Massive apologies to all of you who have come by, discovered the cobwebs and then trotted off again. I billow out kisses and grovellingness to you all.
However, I am now here for all of ten minutes. I’m literally just sticking my head through the door to shout “I’m safe! It’s all OK! I’ve got loads to tell you” and then I’m running off to catch a plane to Munich. And to show you how much I have missed you all, I am going to write lots while I am away and bring it all back here for a proper blog fest on Monday. Please come. I will love you and I will bring gifts of German sausage.