It’s not that I have anything against security guards. In fact, I’ve struck up some informative convos about Pot Noodle style porridge oats (available from all good M&S garages apparently) with numerous gate keepers in my time.
Besides Pot Noodle porridge, we’ve also discussed wrist bands. At length. Wristbands are on par with lumi jackets when it comes to super powers.
Last weekend a security guard showed me his special security guard chart which listed all of the different coloured wrist bands. Next to each one was the type of wearer, ie. festival goer (pink), staff (red), child (yellow), media (green), artist (blue) etc.
“So, tell me,” I said (was bored and waiting for bacon baguette place to open), “who is NOT allowed through this gate?”
“Hotel people, pub people and TV/Media,” he replied sagely.
“You don’t let hotel people or pub people through?” I raised an eyebrow.
Hmm, I thought. There’s logic. I always knew that hotel people and pub owners are a dodgy lot that deserve limited passage through festival sites.
Since then I have been thinking about wrist bands and gaps in fences. I’ve also been thinking about security guards and gate keepers. What does it really take to be someone who guards the doorway that everyone wants to pass through?
I don’t reckon I could do that job. Could you?
It’s not that I think being a security guard would be bad. I’d just be really rubbish at it. If I was guarding a gate, I’d be all, “QUICK! Go through before the big boss sees you! Now! Now! Quickly!”
The scene would resemble something from The Great Escape, except it would be renamed The Great Snuk-In.
I am convinced that this would happen.
Well, because I am constantly doing it with other things; arrangements, commitments, plans but mostly, more than anything, IDEAS.
I’m forever letting in ideas! Mostly I don’t have the time or space for them and then they hang around, bugging me, demanding my attention. Some of these ideas are colourful, wild and brilliant but they have nothing to do with anything relevant in my life and take me off on all sorts of bizarre tangents. Other ideas are sharp, cunning and cool. They are like the VIP ideas that will take what I’m doing to the next level.
And then there are the bad ideas; the ideas that I KNOW I shouldn’t even look at, but somehow their mischievousness charms me. Before I know it I’m holding open the gate and sweeping them in and even giving them a helpful kick up the backside to help them along the way. Then I stand up straight, brush myself down and resume normal guard-like duties. Whilst twitching slightly.
And after a while I notice.
Notice that the festi inside has gotten a bit wild. Maybe there are a few too many nutty ideas running around, competing for attention, shouting to be heard. Suddenly the Inner Fest is bursting to the brim with crazy, juggling, yelling, drumming, pumping, moshing, dancing, swaying, vibrant, useless and genius IDEAS.
“We have massive overcrowding,” the loud speakers blare. “Someone call security.”
But security can’t get in! There’s no room to move. It’s an idea overload. And there I am, hovering at my gate. I am grinning nervously, scratching my head and muttering, “but they were all so WORTHY.”
Does any of this sound familiar? If it doesn’t, you probably want to stop reading this post now.
If it does sound familiar, then you may be suffering from the same affliction as me.
It’s called Sociable Gate Keeping-ism.
Don’t panic. I think I have an idea that can help us. It’s quite an organisational idea – not very quirky or festi like, but I reckon it could work. It involves coloured wristbands. See below.
1. Choose eight different colours, ie. pink, red, orange, yellow, light blue, dark blue, green and black.
2. Assign a different idea character to each coloured wristband. Here are mine;
RED: An idea that could help take my business/life/family/health/happiness up to the next level.
PINK: An idea to serve my wider community that I will be responsible for manifesting.
ORANGE: An idea for a spontaneous adventure/fun/frolicking (Me …“Hey Jim, let’s fly to Amsterdam. Tomorrow.” Jim … “Okay.”)
YELLOW: Inspirational, philosophical ideas. (Om/ Karma/Jonathan Livingstone Seagull).
LIGHT BLUE: Ideas of something you would love to be or have or do (too many to list).
DARK BLUE: Rebellious, underground ideas that you probably shouldn’t tell your mum (shh).
GREEN: Ideas of how to improve certain technologies/fill gaps in the market/general business ideas
BLACK: Fix-it quick ideas of how to sort your friend/sister/brother/step uncle’s messy relationship.
3. Get really clear about which of those coloured wrist band ideas are worth taking up your inner space. Write up a guest list of the ideas you’re happy to have in and those that don’t work for you.
4. Get a lumi jacket and morph. Set some idea boundaries. Toughen up and take back control of your inner space. NOW!
So you see? Ideas have different characters. Like people, some are warm and thoughtful and you’re happy to have them floating around. Others are more demanding, high maintenance and energy. Some are excitable and lovable. Some are okay in small quantities but too many of them become a pain in the backside.
As the happy little gate keepers it is up to us to choose the sort of ideas that will make our inner festi rock and keep a good balance of the weird, wonderful and beautifully commonplace. When it’s said like like that, it doesn’t sound so hard at all? Does it?
What is the worst idea you have ever lived to regret?
What is the best idea that you ever had the good fortune to let in?
Please deposit all thoughts in the comments box below. I will give them tea and crumpets and a warm blanket. Consider it a private idea after party. xxx