I have not been.
Well – that is.
Luckily I can not contaminate you through a computer screen, so don’t run away. You are safe!
Being ill causes such a hiccup in day-to-day doings, doesn’t it?
I had loads planned for this week; cliff-walks to sublime beach cafes, kite flying with the children, an interview with an old friend of vastly creative proportions, an important meeting about future workshops … and … And … AND I was actually going to sit down and create the back cover copy for Grow Your Own Gorgeousness (paperback version).
This was probably the most loud, lurching, menacing hiccup of all.
I was so completely committed to the copy (for once). If only you kneeeewwww. I can hardly describe the energy it took just to contemplate writing the backpage blurb. It should be so easy, so simple, so short. But have you noticed that the simplest things aren’t always the easiest to do?
Writing a resume or CV or a personal statement is similar I think. I mean, how do we package and limit the vital energy of something so HUUUUUGE (ie. our us-ness) into less than a hundred words?
However for GYOG to go paperback, the copy needs to be written. And it really isn’t the copy’s fault. She is very much up for being completed. In fact she has followed me around for ages, tugging on my sleeve and looking up at me angelically.
So what have I done in response to this?
You know it.
I’ve ignored her.
And instead I have practised the Art Of Epic Procrastination to the point where a few days ago, I slammed down my fist and called a meeting with me, myself and I.
BRIEF: To explore why I won’t see to the back copy’s needs.
Little Voice: “Scared!”
Team Leader: “Scared? What of? What is so petrifying about writing less than 100 words for the back of a book that could either make it – or break it?”
Little Voice: “Exactly, Exactly, EXACTLY! Make it or break it. What if I do it wrong? What if GYOG goes to print and then I’m not happy about what I’ve written?”
Team Leader: “Brave Little Voice. Pat. Pat. You have just courageously admitted the Big Fear. What if the final thing isn’t good enough? What if we lick the envelope and it doesn’t stick then all the contents fall out? This Big Fear has lurked around the corner for our (Bethan’s) whole life. It isn’t exclusive to the GYOG copy.”
Little Voice: “It isn’t?”
Team Leader: “Nope. Think about when we (Bethan) was 19 and doing her driving lessons. She did all of the back work, slogged her guts out, went on many torturing practise runs with her mother through comatose bungalow estates. Then, the day before she was about to take the test …”
Little Voice: “Yes? What happened?”
Team Leader: “You don’t remember? You don’t recall that explosive misunderstanding she had with her driving instructor? It involved cross roads, some traffic lights, three other vehicles and several angry drivers. It also involved wheel grabbing, door slamming, stomping off and a driving instructor begging her to get in the car whilst he crawled along the dual carriage way in first gear.”
Little Voice: “Remembered. But – that wasn’t the same.”
Team Leader: “It was. And it is not the only time this has happened. Bethan is great at doing all the hard work, but she hates the acid test. Make or break. Make it or fall. Down. There. Wherever There Is. What is more scary than that?”
Little Voice (shuddering): “Brrr. I don’t know.”
So that was my team meeting. I sat feeling stunned.
I really understood deeply that I have already leapt over some bizarre and sometimes stupid chasms on my mission to get this book out there. And I am now simply teetering on the last little stepping stone and am frightened to leap because I’m frightened of the Acid Test … properly releasing the book into the world.
Luckily Team Leader is good. Really good. Hence why s/he was nominated Team Leader.
Team Leader: “Little Voice. Are you listening?”
Little Voice: “I am.”
Team Leader: “I know you are scared. I feel your fear. But we ARE going ahead. We have come all this way and together we are BIGGER than the back page copy. We must simply do what we have always done; come from the heart and trust in ourselves. We must leap. OK?”
Little Voice: “Okay, but before we do …”
Team Leader: “Yes?”
Little Voice: “May I hide in your pocket?”
Team Leader: “You may.”
So that was it. We leapt. The final leg between not having back copy and having back copy was hanging in the balance and then WHAM …
Most Full On Sickness Bug Ever Hits Me Around The Head Like A Germ Infested Cowpat.
It was an open ambush whilst mid air.
For a moment or two it didn’t look good. My foot hit the ledge. The copy I wrote didn’t work. I fell! But then I managed to grab the cliff side and … slowly … gradually … using all my willpower and strength, I pulled it together.
The copy came together …
And phew-diddly-ooh. I am now sitting on the edge of a high cliff. I still feel ill but the sun is shining. Behind me are all these bizarre stepping stones that have gotten me to where I am. With GYOG copy completed, I will soon have a paper back version that can fly out (in great flocks) to Planet Earth, spreading female wild-ness and championing the wilderness wherever it goes.
So maybe the ultimate acid test is right in front of me, but hey, I can handle it. It’s just another stretch of dicey stepping stones, chasms and a few wobbly moments.
And anyway, I have this little plan … I will tell you about it very, very soon. I would love to let it all out right now but I can’t because it will ruin the surprise. To give you a hint though – this next bit involves more stepping stones and maybe a few rope bridges and it also involves you … and your cross roads and stepping stones and all the brilliance that you want to create in your life.
And a list. It involves a list ….
Have a muchos gorgeousness day. xxx