Today is the first day of the 6 Week Raw Food Detox. My fridge is very amusing.
You open it and wahhhhh – the goodness leaps out at you and licks your face.
I actually think – and don’t quote me on this please – that my fridge could be the 21st Century Garden of Eden.
There are baby corn-on-the-cobs, carrots galore, strawberries, crunchy celery, sunshine lemons, fresh lettuces, blue berries, deep green spinach, rusty coloured sweet potatoes, dark brown mushrooms that you can practically smell the woods on.
(I have always seen those mushrooms in the salad counter at the supermarket and felt hugely intimidated by them. Chefs seem to worship mushrooms. Have you noticed? Some mushrooms cost more money than diamonds. That is a fact. They are highly sought after precious treasure. And that’s too much for me, so I just pass them by, leaving them to the real connoisseurs of the fungus world.
I now have two different varieties of mushroom in my Fridge of Eden. One is “Sainsbury’s Closed cup chestnut mushrooms” – (mild and nutty). The other is “Sainsbury’s Mini portabella mushrooms” (nutty flavour). Hmm. The chestnut ones sound better, don’t you think? Having said that, “portabella mushrooms” sound quite cosmic too.)
So, anyway, when I open my fridge and look in, I get this sighing feeling inside. The white light shimmers down upon me and I just want to surrender, to bow and kiss the ground before the fridge and murmur, “I am not worthy. I am not worthy of this Green Goodness.”
Yet before I can bend down, let alone catch my breath, my attention is caught by a sly slither of chocolate brown. What could it be?
Yes. You know the story. In between all of the Green Goodness, lurks Evil Easter. Chocolate eggs, chocolate bunnies, Mini Eggs, Cadbury Cream Eggs, a smiling chocolate hen, an innocent chocolate car, Terry’s Chocolate Orange (it’s not Terry’s!!!), tubes of Smarties winking …
Tucked away, but strategically exposed, my Fridge of Eden is polluted with Chocolate Temptation.
Deep breath. It’s okay. It’s all going to be fine. I have Alfalfa Muesli. And it is going to be so much better for me than Terry’s Chocolate Orange. And I am going to eat it now. I’m going to get used to all this Stuff. This Temptation. And I will not be tempted. No I won’t. Will not. Am not.
But. Can someone come and REMOVE the chocolate please? No? Okay. Better close the fridge and hide under a pillow for a bit. Hour one. Morning One. Six Week Detox. Over and out.