Nothing major had happened.
We hadn’t crashed or run someone over and the weather conditions were perfect.
It was the mere experience of driving on the motorway, weaving between other cars at high speeds that had scared the living daylights out of me.
I admit it.
I am scared of motorways.
They unsettle me. Badly. And this means every trip, journey or holiday I’ve been on begins with an experience of utter terror.
I literally have no choice. If I am to go anywhere I have to face the fear first.
Fear is one of those natural instincts that helped us out endlessly in the days of sabre tooth tigers. It warned us when we’re in unknown territory and today it still persistently reminds us of the threats in our environment, fuelling us with enough adrenaline to take on a whole army of sabre tooths and probably give a good fight.
Fear quietens down when we stick to what’s normal … what we know.
For so many of us NOT feeling gorgeous has become what we know.
Feeling “not quite beautiful enough” has become natural/normal. We have spent so many years thinking that we have to fix our bodies, improve our looks, change our shape, plump our lips, lose more weight, get a little more style, tone our arms, dry brush our legs … that this feeling of inadequacy has become normal.
Women are conditioned. We’ve been brainwashed into believing that by fitting the ideal beauty image we will find our Happily-Ever-After. Yet how can we ever feel true self worth and delicious gorgeousness if we remain reliant on a robotic industry’s beauty standard?
Women aren’t stupid.
Instinctively we know that even if we come close to the ideal beauty image it’s never going to be permanent. All the Botox in the world won’t ever deliver the soft rays of self acceptance that we truly desire.
For years we have focused on cosmetic beauty – our reflection in the mirror – to trigger our feelings of gorgeousness. It hasn’t worked. All that’s happened is we’ve become more fearful; fearful of being too fat, frightened of getting old, scared of wrinkles, grey hair, wonky teeth, a non-Barbie doll nose. Beneath this lie the deeper fears of not being enough, not being loved, not being worthy, of being rejected, of being humiliated.
Our poor bodies are rigid with fear.
To begin our Gorgeousness Journey we’ve got to face our beauty fears.
What are your worst body fears? Putting on weight, aging, someone noticing your funny shaped ears? Write a list of the things that scare you most about your body.
If your worse fear became a reality, how would you feel about yourself? What would you do? How do you think your family/friends/colleagues would react to you?
What is the very worse thing that could happen?
Now, I’d like you to find somewhere quiet and comfortable where you won’t be disturbed.
Sit cross-legged, but avoid lying down as it can be easy to fall asleep during one of these meditations. Imagine a sphere of white light all around you and trust that only gorgeousness and light will penetrate this powerful orb. Next simply close your eyes, take three long, deep breath and …
1. …. See yourself sitting in a beautiful garden. The sun is shining from the blue sky… all around summer flowers are blooming. You may be lying on a towel sun bathing, or perhaps you are lounging in a deckchair reading a book. You are feeling relaxed and happy. As you are relaxing you hear the gate creak. Someone has come to visit.
2. Turn and look at the person. Who are they? Are they male or female? Are they smiling? What are your first impressions of them? You ask, “Who are you?”
The person replies, “I am your Fear of Imperfection.”
How do you feel? Is Fear Of Imperfection a confident person or is he/she menacing, tired, sexy, misunderstood? What does Fear do once he/she is in your garden?
3. Invite Fear Of Imperfection to sit down with you. Pour him/her a cup of tea. Talk. Ask them questions like “What exactly do you want from me?” “What would you like to show me?” If Fear wants to take you somewhere else, go along and see what their message is for you.
4. As you continue to be with your Fear of Imperfection, ask yourself … “How do I feel about imperfection now?” How can I begin to understand what it is like for Fear of Imperfection being who he/she is? Is there any way that I can be kinder to Fear of Imperfection when he/she turns up? How can I develop a healthy relationship with Fear of Imperfection?”
5. Open your eyes and write down/explore any impressions that you have around your relationship with Fear of Imperfection.
6. Now begin this exercise again, except this time invite in these different aspects of fear;
Fear of sexual expression
Fear of rejection
Fear of BEING good enough
Fear of BEING gorgeousness
Add any other fears you have lurking
7. Once you have finished, write down everything that made an impression on you during this meditation. Reflect on what happened. Have your perspectives shifted at all? How does your body feel?
Once complete, run yourself a hot bath full of bubbles or flower petals. Nourish, nurture and sense your feeling of being “within” your body. You are so safe and snug and centred in this physical self and you’ve done brilliantly at facing your fears. Your journey into Gorgeousness has begun.