The Ultimate Online Dating Ad

My best friend K has been single for just over a year and for some time has been teetering on the edge of online dating. Today she showed me her online dating spiel that her mother wrote on her behalf! It made me laugh so much that I asked her if I could share it on GYOG. Here it is!

“Well where to start about my about my good qualities?

 My family think I’m very generous and in a relationship I am more than willing to share, for example; cooking, cleaning, ironing etc. In fact I am so generous you can do it all.

I am excellent at multi- tasking especially in the bedroom department. I can make little grunting noises, and at the same time I can plan my holiday, think about changing my wardrobe and yes I can even do the shopping list but best of all I am using calories and can have an extra bar of chocolate!

I am extremely versatile and once a month you will amazed how many moods I can experience in ten seconds ( whilst devouring several chocolate bars)  and even more fascinating I have instant recall of the all the little irritating behaviours you have displayed the previous month.

I am also very caring especially when sharing quality time together, expressing our emotions, mainly mine as they usually more interesting. Creativity and problem solving come naturally to me and so when you are stressed from work or your football team have lost I have answers!  For example ‘Get over it, you’re an adult’ or I can list several little jobs about the house to lessen your stress and make you happy.

One of my greatest assets is an in built radar system which can detect instantly when you are lying, looking at, or thinking even about about another woman. This brings out my great sense of humour, instant elbow to your delicate areas usually does the trick but my personal favourite is withdrawing into a sullen mood that leaves you wondering what on earth you have done and allows me to eat even more chocolate.

Well I have left the best until last, my most exciting quality of all; an innate sense of knowing what is best for you …. how to behave, what to wear, what to eat, what to say Yes the list is endless.. how can you resist?”

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2 thoughts on “The Ultimate Online Dating Ad

  1. Bethan, thank you so much for posting this, Ineeded a good!it’s the best description I’ve ever read- for all women out there! If she doesn’t get thousands of responses after this, then I know nothing of men haha 🙂
    Let me know how it all turns out!

    • Ha ha. No problem. It’s great isn’t it? Me and my friend were discussing whether or not she should actually put it up. I think it’s something that would put a smile on women’s faces … men might run a mile!!

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